New Year's Relationship InTENtions!

It's a New Year! and as always we strive to make each year better than the last, in ourselves, our careers and our relationships. We make our resolutions fully expecting to stay in stride based on our promises at the stroke of midnight January 1 only to fall short from not giving our full energy. By the end of the year we beat ourselves up with shoulda, coulda, woulda. Where we falter most is not having the present moment intention, instead we speak in future tense “I Will.” This year you and your partner shall speak your relationship as it is (and so it shall be) in the here and now and those times yet to come. To start your year off right consider, meditate, and discuss the top ten Relationship Intentions. Use, modify and/or create for a brighter today and greater tomorrow.

For the list of affirmations/intentions visit Keys to Relationships http://relationships.keystosex.com/2012/01/02/ten-new-years-relationship-intentions/

Eat Pray Love - The Escape Journey

In referencjavascript:void(0)e to the article in madamenoire.com regarding Tyra Banks recent break-up http://madamenoire.com/117787/tyra-banks-goes-on-%e2%80%9ceat-pray-love%e2%80%9d-trip-to-get-over-breakup/ she along with many other women have join the spiritual cleansing of Elizabeth Gilbert, author of the best-selling book “Eat Pray Love.” In this revolutionary concept, we all have fell in love with the silver screen adaptation of the book starring the lovely Julia Roberts and Spanish heartthrob Javier Bardem as Liz (Julia) traipses off to Italy, India and Bali after giving everything in a divorce and losing self while dating. After her yearlong sabbatical she finds balance, release of fear and love. The question posed in Madame Noire is whether or not a spiritual journey is a “good way to mend a broken heart?”


For those who read the book “Eat Pray Love,” the impression is not that Liz went on her journey to heal relationship wounds with others but more so those wounds of self. For most women there is a time of reflection between relationships where one considers the ups and downs, mistakes and successes. On the other hand those who desire to enter a spiritual journey do not do so because of their outer relationships but the inner and divine relationship stemming from a point where you just feel as if you have missed the mark on an area of your life. It begins by identifying a pattern that appears repeatedly and the question of why is sought out to receive a truth filled answer.

In the midst of my life, I like many women and men who reach a certain age with a sense of lack of fulfillment begin to question why am I here, what am I doing, where should I be. You may feel compelled to seek the answer outside of self at first but once you attempt to no avail, you finally realize that the journey of self cannot be sought outside. This is what I believe both Liz and Tyra’s excursions are based upon.

It is a wonder how in today’s so called "progressive" society when a woman decides to journey; it is perceived it is all due to a man, as if women cannot seek out evolution. If a man was to travel for a period seeking a oneness with spirit he would be considered a highly spiritual man on the path to becoming a guru. Have we been so consumed with political correctness that we fail to expound upon the inequities and prejudices continued to be branded in our minds? We must keep in mind that a spiritual journey it usually transpires from a significant change in situation. It is not the end result that fuels the passage but rather the continuous results in relation to others similar in nature and that has nothing to do with race, color, religion or sex. One day the light bulb finally comes on and you it finally makes sense as you ask yourself “what the hell am I doing with myself” and so the voyage begins to find the answer and start anew.

This is where I say AH
Peace, Love and Bliss

Angelah

Be sure to check out my live radio brodcast of Angel AH Moments Every Thursday Morning 90.1fm WEFT. Listen online http://weft.org

The I-Factor

In reference to the Today show health article Sex or Generosity? http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/45617291 generosity has been deemed “a key element to a happy marriage” as conducted in a study with the aid of the Center for Marriage and Families.

When two people get married, it is said, they trade in the “I” for “we” and “us” who show a unified state or does it? Although not aware, the I-Factor comes in more forms than just self. In Roman Numerals it represents one, meaning the first of all numbers, the beginning. The Greeks use I as iota being that of the smallest amount although it has a numeric value of 10 which in numerology is still first. In the case of couples, the I-factor should be known as Intimacy, the close, personal relationship where one shares knowledge, understanding, affection and love with that of another.

For Full Article please visit http://relationships.keystosex.com/2011/12/13/the-i-factor/

Marriages Today: Sacred or Buffornery?

If you are a Braxton’s Family Values fan then on December 1, 2011 you caught Tamar’s radio debut on a Chicago station WGCI where the question was posed “Is marriage a dying institution?”


Braxton Family Values Season 2: Ep. 3 - A Snooping Dog Part 2 upload by AshleyShyMiller

Two callers were featured to discuss their takes on marriage along with external factors and solutions. Though the topic was not presented for a great amount of time, it affected me enough to wonder “Marriages Today: Sacred or Buffoonery?

Please Visit http://relationships.keystosex.com/ For Full Discussion

Know Your Role

When you enter into any relationship albeit friendship, parenting, work and especially intimate relationships, it is best to identify early where you fair and what role you are commissioned to play. It’s best to know from beginning whether you’re the first, the rebound, the booty call, the back-up plan or left-over.
Oftentimes the man will tell his spouse thru actions or words what space you fill within his life, yet we all strive to be in a position not assigned. The first might desire to be last, the mistress desires to be wife or the back-up wants to be master. The ego says you deserve the new position because you are just as worthy as anyone else and you are but that is not what you signed on for in the original agreement. More times than not the position assigned by that man’s ego is the exact place you will remain until the contract has expired.

I have a friend who knowingly, willingly and voluntarily entered into a relationship with a man who has multiple partners. The man sat all three women down and openly discussed each role making them conscious of their purpose from day one. My friend was the teacher due to her organizational skills and experience as an advocate and transformational coach. Another woman was the provider, expecting to maintain adequate employment, paying the bills and filing taxes at all times. The 3rd woman who was the first he met and now has four children by this man was placed in what? You guessed it…Mother the stay at home nurturer. Understanding these roles the women operated within the capacities or so they thought. In the shadows these three women would backbite, sabotage and verbally assault in order to be sole and exclusive this man’s. You can only imagine what the man did, that’s right, left all three women.

When you understand what role the man desires to have his wants filled, you have the option of whether to play the game or relinquish the turn. Most times we start the game, hoping for a promotion only to get hurt in the end. We think in a job if you work really hard and play by the rules your status will get elevated, but in intimate relationships it’s simply not an available option. Once that man has decided in his mind what part he needs you to play, he will continue in that state until either his need is satisfied or you renounce the title.

For myself I know all too well being made to fit in roles and that goes from every type of relationship: Nurturing mother, Cool teacher, Loving and Nice friend, Dependable employee, but most to my detriment Complacent girlfriend. For example with my ex fiancée he desired a certain type of woman but needed a nurturer and ego booster. On some levels I always knew I was his default girl posing as the victim surrogate mother whom he would save. Yet when I desired to be more than just the poor, single victimized mother I deviated from his script. As I became more like the girlfriend he wanted, my role became obsolete. Now I know this does not make sense, you would think he’d stay, but as I previously stated once the man classify your role there are no upgrades or promotions just that position or no position. So yes I was the left over girl in relationships and I got left over and over and over again.

So where do these roles come from? EGO which is divided into one of four sub categories: Momma Complex, Sex, Money, Power. Men are always searching for that female aspect that nurtures, actually we all do. One cannot spend 9 months in a womb being fed, cared for and stabilized and not crave a return to the source of its physical being. For men the searching becomes insatiable as they bounce from female to female, entering and exiting relationships faster than a jack rabbit. All this behavior is merely a means of reconnection to that same nurturing qualities felt inside the womb. Women on the other hand, do not crave the nurturing as much for it is naturally within our DNA, plus environmental and social dogmas create the subculture of women as domicile and nurturing beings. We will nurture ourselves and each other; we will uplift ourselves and each other. That is why the beauty industry is a billion dollar business: Makeup, Shoes & clothing, Jewelry, Perfume, all part of the nurturing process. Shopping for things that make you look and feel better about self, creating a confidence and esteem is the female therapeutic ability to nurture and care for self.

For men sex, money, power nurtures them thru ego consciousness resulting in a false representation of nurture. So their predatory egos seek out that true aspect from which they are lacking. As a woman if you can satisfy all the roles men seek at the time, then they will be content until the ego supersedes intellectual thought process causing another want disguised as a need to arise. That is the problem with ego consciousness; it will always want and crave more: more money, more sex, and more power. Yet the reality is the spiritual being actually needs nurture.
This is where I say AH!

Peace, Love and Bliss
Angelah

Black Men "ENDANGERED": Legend or Myth

Since publishing my novel, I have thrust myself into the world of social networking/media as a means to receive cheap advertising/solicitation. Much to my surprise, there has not been an overwhelming response to preview my book, but a myriad of propositions from men. More than not these men are African American, which goes against the conditioning and sensationalism surrounding them. You see we women have been taught that there is a shortage of black men who were once labeled as an “endangered species.” My girlfriends and I discuss daily of the whereabouts of available men in our age bracket. Yet daily thousands of men are entering into social spaces approaching women.

Having been on Black Planet approximately six months I, myself, had more man propositioning me in a week than I have throughout my entire dating career thus far. As women fight like jungle cats to claim the territory known as the black man, It behooves me to think: Are black men really “endangered” or have women been duped by propaganda once again?

Between Twitter, Facebook, You Tube, Black Planet etc. etc. etc. we have been given 24 hour access to the world at large. One can sign up for these services and be instantly notified thru email every time someone follows, befriends, or subscribes to your space. The lakes are opening wider and deeper allowing more fish to be caught. Yet why are these intelligent, attractive males not being caught by beautiful, gifted females.

If the statistics are correct (everyone knows how I feel about statistics) and there is an African American male shortage, then the women being propositioned are being deceived by men who are seemingly involved. If the dating pool has broadened because of social networking than women, especially African American women, have been bamboozled once again by a society which desires to disconnect and disenfranchise a population of otherwise smart, rational people. Yet my analytical mind cannot help but discern between fact and fiction. The fact is there are a lot of single, black women who are not connecting with single black men. So I can’t help but wonder are most of the men soliciting women online really in a committed relationship. Have social networking become the new forms of prostitution?

So how does one who wants a committed relationship find the truth in order to weed out the players? Quite easily one would think, just ask, but we do not ask that simple question “are you with someone?” Are women afraid of the truth leaving us feeling alone, used and undesirable? Do we not care because we think a piece of man is better than none? Are we afraid of the truth because then we are forced to make a choice and deal with the consequences albeit good or bad, for one can only be held accountable for that which they know. Are beings so commanded by their hearts desire they cannot just be “friends”, “followers,” or “subscribers” with no strings attached, ascribing only to a web. Then again we all know what happens in webs, eventually you get trapped and swallowed up.

Peace, Love & Bliss
Renee Angelah

Plan B (Back Up)

As I evaluated my past relationships, I came across some unsettling disturbances I was unwilling to face. A disheartening truth I did not want to accept or repeat. I have learned that with the exception of my first relationship, I was the plan B for every man I was with, including my ex-fiancée. I have not understood or received the answer to why I attract men who just use me as the settled to girl until they get the opportunity to access what they want or is looking for. Of course it makes no sense why I allow men to use me, my father was in the home, and I was not abused nor was my mother. As a matter of fact I lived in a two parent upper middle class, matriarchal ran home. Yet I allow myself to be the doormat for men, the less than girl.

How does one know if she is the Plan B girl? Plan B girls are the ones that men be with only when they have to, while they wait or search for the one they desire most. The man views you as not enough because you are not the one he wanted in the first place. The Plan B girl cries on the inside while the man goes off on trips and engage in activities without her, his so called "woman." The man always leaves the Plan B girl without a proper goodbye. It is easy for him to leave you because he feels no explanation needed, you don’t deserve courtesy or respect; you are not the one he wanted.

So what does it feel like to be the Plan B girl? Very simple, it feels sad and lonely. The Plan B girl is never happy nor satisfied because her companion is neither of those things. She can feel all the tension, all the indifference, all the pain for not being able to measure up. And it hurts, it hurts more than people know and sometimes more than the Plan B girl is aware. As for myself I analyze and I cry, many nights, silently as I lay alone in bed. Every night my mind is unsettled for never having been enough, not enough looks, not enough money, not enough intelligence, not enough interdependence, not enough character… simply not enough.

Of course I do not want to continue in a state of discouragement for my sisters who long for a meaningful and loving relationship. Being able to identify in what relation you are to a future prospect is an empowering affirmation. It will give you the ability to discern placement and give you the option whether to participate… or not! This newfound freedom will only assist in elevating your awareness from which you are what you desire most. From what you are aware allows the psyche to no longer be afraid. Renunciation of fear gives rise to freedom for it is the shadow of ignorance that binds our bodies from enlightenment. Freedom from bondage gives way once more to: Love

Peace, Love and Bliss
Angelah

In A Dream

Welcome and Thank you for visiting the site! Preview my first novel, I hope you enjoy!

To order a copy click Angel Ah's Lulu Storefront to the right.

Prologue

She awoke this morning with the sun slightly kissing her face and her stomach all tied into little knots. Celeste could not believe that today finally had arrived, it seemed to take a lifetime to get to this point. She rose in the luxurious plush bed and gently folded down the 1500 thread count Egyptian cotton sheets, beneath the poly satin embroidered comforter. If this is Heaven, she thought, I don't ever wanna leave. A faint knock upon the door interrupted Celeste's dreamy thoughts. As she faded into the reality of today, she wiped away the previous night's sleep from her heavy, laden eyes. Not heavy due to girls' gone wild partying, stress, or worrying; but heavy from the sheer happiness of her today and tomorrow.

Celeste rose from her sanctuary, allowing the left shoulder strap of her satin sheer black nightgown to gracefully fall down her arm. She put on her matching robe, slipped into her padded flats and headed to the front door of her suite. A pristine maid entered the suite wearing a finely tailored, linen black and white dress suit, her flesh tone stockings led to perfectly shined, round toed, orthopedic platform shoes.

"Bonjour, Mademoiselle." Her mocha hair was twisted in a small coiffure revealing small silver stud earrings, and her immaculately French manicured hands carried a wicker basket filled with spa related toiletries.

"Morning," Celeste responded in astonishment that anyone could be so put together that early in the morning. "I don't recall asking for a service this morning."

The maid gently set her goody basket upon the deep, rich mahogany coffee table and proceeded to the window. As she swung back the golden tapestry curtains to allow the room's full luminous reception of the sun. She turned ever so slightly to answer "We were instructed by management to bring forth a full pampered treatment for your special day."

Returning to the windows in her slow, meticulous and calculating movement she opened the windows allowing the fresh, crisp air to circulate. The maid picked up her basket and proceeded to the powder room to begin the whirlpool bath, filling it with delicious aromatherapy scents of vanilla, lavender and mint.

Forgetting herself, lost in the moment of a foolish gawk at the maid service, Celeste closed the entrance door and leaned against it letting out an exhaling sigh of relief. As she listened to the raging waters gushing into the tub, she wondered who could have possibly arranged this little piece of wonderful. Of course only a select few might be equated to such an extraordinary patronage, especially after last night's festivities. The affair that was held in the hotel's conservatory rang in a tasteful, classy smorgasbord of socialites, debutantes and women's committee heads, wrapped in a catered spread of meatless sandwiches, exotic fruit and herbal teas.

The firm instructions of the "Queen Bee," Mrs. Walker, still permeated Celeste's mind, "Now ladies, we shall not gorge ourselves tonight otherwise an appearance of unsightly blemishes and bulges will arrive upon our bodies." Bitch. Celeste shook her head at the thought of "queen bee's" orders for the participants to conduct themselves in an appropriate and respectful manner at all times. She could not really complain over the function, after all, the gifts received were amazing: state of the art small kitchen appliances, a complete Lenox china set, fine crystal, Wallace silver flatware, items from Tiffany's and Bergdorf Goodman, and a total design package from the country's master interior designer Sharon Crete.

During the course of the evening, the guests made it their mission to dig into Celeste as being a less than adequate choice for initiation into high society. They continued to slew at the necessity of being perfect at all times; perfect body, perfect attire, perfect makeup, perfect demeanor. Perfect Bitches, Celeste thought, Virginia's elite did not concern themselves with love or happiness which was probably why those who were married had trouble and those who were single remained. "Uh uh not me, those uptight heffas ain't getting between me and my groove." Celeste chuckled at how the elite would gasp at her broken English.

Thank God her best friend, Tracey, attended the gala otherwise she would have never survived. She knew the strain the women had placed upon Celeste. After the soiree in the midst of undetected viewing, Tracey snuck over to Celeste's room with a bucket of chicken, mashed potatoes, corn on the cob, green beans and Celeste's favorite dessert double chocolate cake straight from KFC. They laughed most the night away at the socialites' expense and by night's end Tracey assured Celeste that she was exactly where she was supposed to be regardless of others thoughts, feelings or comments.

Celeste walked into the suite's bedroom and sat on the bed, completely breathless about embarking on her new life's journey.

The maid quietly emerged from the bathroom "Excuse me mademoiselle, your bath is ready."

Celeste slowly lifted up her head snapping from her trance. She smiled appreciatively, Thank you."

"Is there anything else you need mademoiselle?"

"No. That will be all, merci."

The maid nodded her head and exited the room. Celeste got up from the bed and entered the enormous bathroom. Its combination of vintage detail integrated with innovative technology captured exquisiteness only few hotels could stylishly construct. The marble countertops atop the cherry wood base, stainless faucets showering aqua into frosted glass sink bowls. A pulsating sauna shower emitting therapeutic light, and a freestanding, acrylic whirlpool tub deep enough to cover one's body like a cocoon. Yes this room is definitely amazing, but even more so with low flickering candles and the subtle aroma permeating the air.

Celeste approached the sink to wash her face, splashing cool water to stimulate her senses. She examined the chiseled features upon her face; the high cheekbones, sable eyes, and pouty lips. In her examination of the slightly distorted reflection, Celeste saw another feature, one which was subtle yet illuminating. She viewed an aura, a spirit of happy, no not happy but bliss. That was the only word which could describe her emotion: raw, pure, unadulterated bliss.

Her disbelief at the truth of real love made her think, could this only be a dream? The night gown slowly fell from her finely sculpted body and pooled around her feet unleashing the bondage of confinement. As she slowly stepped into the depths of the hot steamy aroma, the beads of sweat enveloped her body permeating her skin with luscious relaxation. She laid her head against the cushioned pillow, closed her eyes and mentally prepared for her event. Huh an event, Celeste never thought she would refer to this particular day as an "event." Of course she seen them on television, grandiose affairs filled with all kinds of drama filled moments consumed by over-indulged, spoiled brats. Now after a year of preparation, here she is starring in her own reality show, yeah right reality show, at least that how it felt. Since the announcement, there had been an endless barrage of dress designers, printers, decorators, caterers, florists, photographers, videographers, journalists, production crews, and over 500 people all unbeknownst to Celeste. That was the direction her life had turned, social circles, women's clubs, garden parties, OH MY!! Am I really ready for all of this, she thought, sure I am? I can handle it, no problem?

Celeste took a deep, relaxing, meditative breath and redirected her focus on her luxurious bath. Grabbing a loofah sponge from the basket, she squeezed some rose scented bath gel and began the process of buffing and polishing the most intricate, unmentionable parts of her body along with her fears and insecurities. To some the spa experience alone would have been the best moment, but to Celeste her best was about to occur at sunset. Upon finishing her ritual, she gently laid back once more to close her eyes and revel in the quietness and solitude. A feeling Celeste had not experienced in a long while. That feeling that was quickly interrupted by Tracey.

"Celeste," she yelled "Girl where the hell are you?"

Celeste opened her eyes to the Heavens and shook her head, Tracey, that girl will never change. She chuckled at her friend's frankness.

Tracey and Celeste met at a homeless shelter where Celeste volunteered five years ago. She could still remember the first time she saw Tracey coming in all battered and bruised, make up running together, wearing a fiery red bustier, black miniskirt, knee length high-heeled boots and torn flesh colored stockings. Tracey held a scowl on her face and the attitude to match; qualities all which did not faze Celeste in the least bit. She had come across that type before, younger and looking much worst. She could tell at first glance that Tracey could definitely hold her own. He might have won this round but Celeste knew whoever the pimp or John was, she didn't go down without a fight.

Celeste fixed Tracey a plate of food and sat down next to her asking if she wished to report the incident to the proper authorities or just talk. Tracey declined both in non speaking protest, but after a few hours the throes of hunger pains won. Celeste being ever observant brought a fresh plate of food and extended her listening ear. As she heard Tracey's story, she was reminded of her own; absentee parents, trouble with school, finding comfort in the wrong men, just trying to find a place to belong. Celeste not only wept for Tracey but for every woman and girl who feels alone and frightened in a world that rejects them for not being enough: Not enough looks, not enough smarts, not enough money, not enough personality, just not enough.

After several weeks of living at the shelter, Celeste and Tracey became old friends. Within a month's time, Tracey was liberated finding herself steady employment and taking adult education courses to secure her high school equivalency aptitude. Tracey moved into Celeste's home and they had been inseparable ever since. Now five years later, the two kindred souls were getting ready to embark on another journey separately but still together in each other hearts and minds.

"Celeste, girl what are you doin? Don't you know there's a lot to do today…? I mean you are gettin' married."

Celeste raised her head up, "Yes I know Trace, but someone ordered this relaxation for me and I want to enjoy every breathtaking moment."

"I know, that's why I'm kidnapping you now, so get dressed."

"Um I thought you told the concierges to create this in suite spa."

"Are you crazy, first of all I don't know what a concierge is or where it goes. All I know is if we don't bounce soon you won't have it so relaxin."

Celeste rose up from the tub disappointed at leaving her little spa paradise.

"Ew full frontal," Tracey turned her back to Celeste and threw a towel. "Now cover up and hurry up."

"All right all right I'll be out in a minute."

As Celeste was drying off, Tracey went back into the bedroom and frantically searched out clothes for her to wear. She scurried along grabbing shoes, purse and a sundress. Celeste emerged from the powder room tying the belt of her silk bathrobe.

"So where are you kidnapping me to?"

Tracey stopped hurrying to turn and speak in excitement "Girl, we got an all day spa treatment at La Crux, La Crox, you know what the hell I'm talkin 'bout.

"Uh yea, it's La Croix and Trace you know you can't afford that," Celeste stated in a mature, sensible tone.

"Look don't worry 'bout what I can do, I got this, now get your bourgie ass dress." She threw the sundress at Celeste. Another knock came across the door as Tracey's eyes became hardened.

To order visit Angel Ah's storefront on the right.

Distance Loving

Many people wonder if long distance relationships could actually work. Daily the news is filled with lustful individuals going on business trips that served as masquerades for extra marital affairs. I myself have even wondered if my relationship with the man I love can sustain distance. My fiancée has been gone since February 14, 2009, yes that’s right the most romantic day of the year. I cried not because I could not spend the day of love with the one I love, but because he was going to prepare a way for a new life and I was afraid that after a few months it might not include me and my daughter. Truly I was afraid of the vultures that would surround my love and swoop down upon him. My fears were confirmed when two women entered into his life in an attempt to woo him away but instead failed as he honored our love with truth and honesty. Now it has been four months and I am tested in my ability to sustain even more of a long distance love.

Most distance relationships tend to reside in the United States going from a few hundred to a thousand miles. My love is on the other side of the world in Palenstine assisting in the rights of others. My fear for the safety of my love makes my jealousy of another woman appear trite but what can I say I’m human. This journey my love embarks upon to go from boy to man requires not only courage, strength and a level head but also tremendous love and support. When I reflect upon his family’s opposition and doubt, I remember having to suppress my true feelings in favor of my fiancée desires.

Now he’s abroad getting tear gassed in the name of truth and honor to help those reclaim the land that rightfully belongs to them. I could tell him come home at any time to keep him safe and my heart secure but I know right now home is not where he wants to be. So I must love from a distance another three months as my soldier of valor becomes ALL the man he can be. So I will endure this distant love to be ALL the woman I can be.

Peace, Love and Bliss

Angel-Ah