Friday, November 18, 2011

Why Do I Not Want to BE Married

Married couples sometimes question themselves and ask why did I get married? Tyler Perry covered this very subject in two movies bearing the same name of that question. Yet there are many divorcees and single men and women out there who have not asked themselves “Why do I not want to BE married?”

As of late I have discovered my surrounding of females who want the benefits or perks of marriage but not the responsibility. This means she wants provision, protection and security and proclamation that she is the one and only. Yet in return these females refuse to provide support, encouragement, assistance, management (finances, children, romance) and overall balance. In my discovery, I have found that these certain females do not fully understand the responsibility in the role of wife or do they?

In the first “Why Did I Get Married” movie, the men sat around the lanai discussing a concept called the 80/20 rule. Meaning you only get about 80% of what you put into your marriage. The discussion further elaborates on how due to the 20% you oftentimes end up lusting for that which your marriage is lacking. So if the man’s role or responsibility in the marriage consists of building or preparing the foundation, providing the necessary resources, protecting the environment, and proclaiming that as his, he will only receive in return 80% of wife’s role and responsibility of love, support, encouragement, assistance, management, balance. Ipso facto there is a deficit on both sides reserved for the individual to complete with the tools held within which provides the 100% satisfaction guarantee. Unfortunately the 20% lust is often traded in for love of self and sometimes sought out elsewhere.

Divine partnership or marriage is having the ability to be separate, whole individuals while maintaining a togetherness which allows the freedom to flow into oneness. It is basic mathematical equations also known as fractions. 1/1 = 1. If either partner is not whole they cannot create wholeness. So instead of discovering full self, one attempts to grasp the pieces of both worlds single and married to gain satisfaction or acceptance. Unwilling to clearly state, I don’t want to be married for I do not fully know myself or I just don’t know how to be wife/husband.

In the 1999 movie Runaway Bride starring Julie Roberts and Richard Gere, Ike Graham (the character played by Gere) jeered at Robert’s character Maggie Carpenter for her lack of knowing self that she could not even pick out her own eggs. After the last runaway wedding, Maggie had to go on a self-exploration to cut away fear and find the whole self within and from there she was able to finally settle down.
So in this question of “why do I not want to be married,” ask yourself do I truly know who I am, what I want, what I am afraid of?

“The explanation is very clear
to be wife is to have no fear
in the knowing that I am here,
to guide you in plenteous cheer”
(excerpt from 35 Poems Breakning of Anu Dawn)

Nosce te ipsum (Know Thyself) and from that flows all right relationships 100% satisfaction guarantee.
Peace, Love & Bliss

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