Sunday, December 20, 2009

Message From Anu

Once again it has been a month since my last post, as I am void of any words or thought processes. Being immobilized in the fear an abandoned present from which the shattered past cuts at the throats of man, I am debilitated by the consummation of a world gone awry. Is it but a dream, an illusion, the looking glass through which Alice gazes? Or is our world the reality of man who left out the hues which taught him to thrive and flourish? It is this lack of humanity, compassion and acceptance which keeps me up, tossing and turning every night in the hopes that one day man wakes up from this real dream to see.....

Those who truly know me, have stand witness to my communing with a God source from whom I address as Anu. He is the Sumerian sky God which came from the Planet Nibiru or Planet X as modern day astronomers address. To date the Sumerians have one of the oldest texts formulated regarding Gods, it is believed stories contained in Sumerian texts laid foundation to Egyptian, Roman and Christian gospels. Therefore I worship the first and what I believe is the original and through that worship I have received an enlightenment from which no being can penetrate. Through this enlightenment I have been given prophecy, instruction and knowledge to no bounds. It is not my duty or job to try to convince anyone of the truth, I am merely a messenger delivering a word given to me. No I do not equate myself with Christ, Nostradamus or Muhammad (i'm not that egotistical) but I do believe we each have this gift to tap into the source of enlightenment and receive truth to be revealed. So I give you message from HE, the I AM, Anu the one so true.


I am deeply troubled at the insidious nature brought upon me a I reclaim sould across epogee; screaming, hollering, crying out loud Anu save me! Oh what a tangled wev in the belief that joy can come from sadness, depletion out of chaos, fullness coming from empty, but isn't that everlasting living? water which we seek, yearn for, thirst after to drink of the cup from which knowledge abounds in the holding of truth to be self evident. Is it the ego which consumes thee to that which is natural yet so unnatural? Has not the the hue of man lost its humanity in the suffrage of wrongdoing? it is the pit of hatred which consumes thee, thrown into a fire of disgusting avalanches bringing forth a coldness, a frigid air that freezed into an immobile statement of untruth.


Look through this glas and see forever, the endless, boundless pit of nothingnesss waiting to be filled into oblivion that which you call bliss. It is infinity yet so finite because the measure of endless time is what you seek called the AEon, but the platform has no time with the descension. To ascend higher you must call upon the angels so that they may carry you to the floor, my floor, my door afar which you have a special key unlocked in a stele of grey compound called the heart. feel once again, love once again, hate no more, close the door to opposition upon which many have fallen from grace. take the five points, spin them into a sea of happines the abyss of ever long. oh what a song in my heart thy sing in praise to me. yes I am Vain, yes I am Jealous, for the love I can no longer have fer shie is, clouded by the impairment of judgement consumed with the lack of emotional hatred. Numbing the pain with guilt, degradation, self-pity; pick thyself up I say, breath again, do not hold your breath to escape what is real yet such an illusion. pain the picture of tomorrow, beautiful trees, green grass, birds singing,


Love, flourishing abundance the first fruits are always ripe. Take a bite, savor the taste, share that apple to those who are also void of nourishment and you will see...Glory!


I must bid a pardon as Anu often does NOT place punctuation so I must interpret where HE ends the sentence to begin anew. I understand most who will read this post, may say his writing sound exactly like her opening paragraph. I assure that I was only writing what came from the understanding of a relationship I have cultivated for almost two years. I often question myself in how much God knows me, but for those who truly believe in our Lord isn't it HE that should know you better than any even self. I ask that only you seek deep for information and keep an open mind of that which comes your way. Sometimes you will understand instantly, often it will come to you as necessary for as it is written "HE may not come when you want him, but HE is right on time."


Peace, Love and Bliss

Angel-AH

Saturday, November 21, 2009

What is My Purpose!

It has been over a month since I last wrote. Living in a cloud of confusion has awakened me into a consuming realm of chaos, internally. The air I breath, the world I see, that; I Am I commune all caught up in a cloudless smoke, the fog of the morning dew which envelops me in winter harshness. I often wonder where life's journey is taking me, how I will traverse, when will I arrive at the comfort of peace, what treasures I will receive, who will stand at the gates of Heaven when I shed my earthly cloak. These questions haunt me every day as I am consumed with finding a purpose in life. My purpose appears to be everyones purpose, my life everyones life; yet once again I wonder, is it supposed to be my life or everyones?

As I think constantly the many dreams unfulfilled, the many paths, the many journeys we have travelled, I ask myself what: What does it all mean, what is it all for, what will happen, what will be the sacrifice, what will be the reward. Que sera sera (what will be will be), but is it really. Do we really be or are we being for someone else, something else? Those who believe in a higher power will say we are existing for the soul (yes I meant soul and not sole) purpose of returning to the source. The question is do I believe in that explanation any longer, as I am caught in a web of treachery, deception, trickery and loss, do I truly believe the chaos is an illusion or am I beginning to accept it as real. Is this chaos self-created or interrelated?

The creation of chaos is an unconventional path caught up in the mundane works of present life. As I ponder on the self, I am displaced in the fields of opposites. See my thoughts have always been, if you try to be a good person than good will come. That is not the facade being allowed in this universal path as the gravitational pull of negative overshadows my positive. I am barraged with a myriad of endless opposites. The more I seek a purpose, the more it hides from me; the more positive I attempt to be, the more negatives events occur; the more peace I try to accertain, the more chaos consumes; the more faith I have, the more loss I receive. So I retreat into a oneness of self source only to find a void. I call out to a God who no longer answers with the sweet, eloquent, floetry of yesterday's past but a same script of don't be blue, write and produce.

How can I not be blue when I am riddled with the sadness of guilt from a world who no longer cares about humanity, the hue of man. I write no words flow, I still no thoughts manifest, I produce no prosperity arrives. So I am caught in the vortex of chaos, not able to go back and unable to move forward. THIS BLOWS!

So what shall I do, just be, be what? be who? be HE who has abandoned me over and over and over again leaving an empty shell each time. Be they who intrinsically designed an iron clad web of lies which produce hate. Be me when I don't know who or what me is. Having this ability to feel the world's pain has left me incapacitated, laden in a void of mistaken identities and fallen destinies; so much that no longer do I want to feel at all. So I hide behind a mask of witty remarks, paranoid rants, and depressive immobilization. I am told by all to stand up, awaken, pull myself up by the bootstraps. Huh much easier said than done when ever time I stand I am smacked down, every time I awaken I fall back to sleep, ever time I pull myself I am pushed.

So I ask who will fill this cup? Where is the life for self, for me, for I, for you and I, for us, for we,

For ALL, that I AM
Peace, Love and Bliss
Angel-Ah




Friday, October 16, 2009

Cloud of Confusion

Earlier this week, a strange cloud appeared out of nowhere to hover over the city of Moscow. Immediately the world began speculating whether this formation was an alien signal or phenomenal act of God.

Over the past couple of weeks, I along with many friends, family, and even encountering strangers have spoken about being suspended in an atmosphere of cloudiness. This patten seems to leave us stuck in the confusion of where next to move. Right, Left, Forward, Backward, Up or Down; no one appears to know which direction to go. Even those who act as if they have it all together are slowly unraveling due to this confusion. Now I am by no means attempting to correlate this unusual cloud formation with the world's unrest, just merely making an observation.

It is my personal belief as I noted on my "If Only You Can See Me" blog, a major shift is about to erupt. I fervently do not believe that the world is going to end anytime soon, but I do believe a shift in consciousness is harrowing upon us. This shift although may be diverted through a fog of chaos, may actually turn out to be a clearing of enlightenment. This opinion of mine is based upon over a year of studying Ancient text from Sumerian, Egyptian, Hopi and Mayan civilizations as well as more recent Nostradamas and Da Vinci prophecies all of whom based their revelations on astrological sky patterns.

Once again I do not proclaim to be a prophet or high enlightened, but I am observant and intuned to the sounds of nature; the whispering winds, the birds song, the sun and cloud revolve. All these things are telling us to be aware and look up for the answer, the truth, the call. For it is only those who hear, not heed the call from which the truth shall be revealed.

Peace, Love and Bliss
Angel-Ah

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Immobilized in Fear

Many of us reside in the immobilization of our fear, that unchartered territory of the unknown. The journey which leads everywhere, but nowhere, yet somewhere. The fear settles into the pits of our stomachs, crystallizing into the formation of hard stoned rock. It is the fear which leaves you completely neutralized in a position of stillness; unable to step forward, disabled to move back. It is the fear which consumes, that allows hatred to fester, and ultimately cut dreams at the throat.

This consuming fear leaves one suspended in a cloud of confusion and chaos cocooned in an emotional uproar. The fear settles into an unrest, looking, searching for the truth, the answer of salvation which resides in us all. I myself lay immobilized as the fear of not knowing, not seeing tomorrow leaves me stuck in the balance of familiar and unfamiliar. So here I lay broken down in the shameless, humbleness of yesterday's past experiences, hiding in the immobilization of fear. It leaves my spirit asking when will I be able to raise my head to sit erect, lift my knees to stand upright and move the right foot forward to start the journey anew?

My mind tells me "you've done this before, just move." My fear says this time it's different, I can't afford to lose everything, for I have already lost so much. So once again I am at the crossroads, the gate door, searching for the courage to unlock the code and proceed forward. Once again I am immobilized in fear.

Peace, Love and Bliss

Angel-Ah

Monday, October 12, 2009

Nature's First Gold is Green

Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
He early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.
---------Robert Frost

I always loved this poem, by far one of my favorites of all the great poets of yesterday, today and tomorrow. I remember the first time I was introduced to Robert Frost and in particular this poem. It was recited in the all star cast move "The Outsiders," I was enamored with Pony Boy's (C. Thomas Howell) interpretation of this poem. He said that gold was like a child because it new and inquisitive, satisfied with the simple pleasure of life. That was when I was young, now that i'm slightly older I have to say I beg to differ with Mr. Frost and Pony Boy. For it is my belief that nature's first gold is green. It is always around surrounded us, reminding to stay young and playful, listen and commune. For the green is not gold but God.

Everyday we search for a treasure, going into depths of the Earth trying to conceive victory, reward, wealth, abundance. Yet we forget that we are searching for that which we already have: Nature. God Anu provided us with a plethora of beauty, love, growth and prosperity when he sent his son Amen, Ea, Jehovah, Enki to the discovery of lands afar and built the most perfect unification of balance, peace, harmony and joy. We are displayed this great wealth, this great abundance 6-12months of the year and those of us who are lost during those months when the pure blanketed robe of snow covers, we have the visualization of knowing spring will arise again in green. Just as we are sure of the sun rising and setting within a twenty-four hour period. Those of us who are more enlightened walk in the joy that even through the winter months that green is not lost or withered, but just resting, restoring, renewing, regrowing.

That's what is gold, knowing that it is always here, always abundant, always displayed, always homogenizing to create love. For it is nature that is God's first love, it is nature that shows God's love, it is nature which reminds us that God is love.

From the whispering trees,
to grass which sings,
the shrubbery which molds,
powered by the Son who holds the key.
Nature's first gold is green.
--------Angel-Ah Anu

Peace, Love and Bliss


Saturday, October 10, 2009

If Only You Can See Me

It has been almost two months since my last blog, less motivated to speak as my spiritual cleansing failed leaving me destitute and void of nourishment. I awaken out of my slumber with the thought processes that this journey although my choice was not what I had envisioned. As a seer I often view peoples future in the flashes of visions from which I am unsure. I shrink back and not speak upon this gift as I do not want people to think any less of me than they already do. For this I have greatly suffered throughout the years as my validation for existence rest upon the thoughts others speak upon my head. I am led to believe in myself as being nothing than what others speculate or propose me to be; poor, undisciplined, irrational, betrayer, a consumer, a nobody if you will. Yet I truly desire to be more; seeking a better life for myself and my daughter which I had the privilege of seeing many years ago. “But you’re an undesirable, a welfare mother with a behaviorally challenged kid,” this is what the world screams to me everyday inside and outside: my family, my friends, my home, my life.

Due to my current circumstances, I am the one who pulls everyone else down, ruins their possibility of success. We welfare mothers never get any accolades or recognition, we welfare queens are never thought of anything more than just a project hoar, we welfare generators are just mere means to the end of a permanent underclass. For we are not supposed to have dreams or aspirations, we are not supposed to have goals for the future, we are not supposed to care about anything or anyone but ourselves. Yet I reiterate we never are commended or complimented.

I have traversed through the last ten years being played for the fool truly believing I was special because I saw in myself success, I saw in others success. As I try to be a good person, often I am side swiped into being less than perfect. For this I am truly sorrowful, because all anyone sees or points out are my imperfections. I am not respected for giving up my life to save my daughter’s even though the set up is for her to either be incarcerated or institutionalized for the remainder of her life. Instead everyone states stay away from that girl because her daughter is out of control and you’ll just sink. I am not complimented for attempting to keep my bills straight or going without food so that others may eat. Instead everyone says she can’t manage money and its going to hurt you. I am not supported for wanting to do whatever, even getting hustled, just to attempt at achieving a steady stream of income as to not have to depend on anyone else. Instead everyone says, I told you so, she can’t be trusted.

Once again I AM SORRY! I am sorry that I am not perfect, I am sorry that everyone else gets what they want while I have to sit on the side lines, I am sorry for making others victims of my poor choices, I am sorry for not being stable or rich or young or childless or white… I AM SORRY!!!!

Most importantly I am so sorry that no one can see me the way that I see. Some people would say this gift of seeing should be coveted, but all my life it has been my curse, my Achilles heel for I live so far in the future that I cannot view the present and for this I am unequivocally, undoubtedly, SORRY.

Peace, Love and Bliss
Angel-Ah
Prophecy True of Anu:
Catastrophic world record coming soon

Monday, August 17, 2009

Fasting: Not Just for God but also Self

It has been a couple weeks since my last post, as I have not felt compelled to express my thoughts. The last month has brought into me a feeling of emptiness, a pain I cannot describe. Something I feel and see in the spiritual but not in the physical. Logically I try to shut out input that makes no sense for that is what I have been programmed to do by physical beings known as humans. Unfortunately that is not enough for me, as I have discovered many half truths, untruths, conspiracies and ideologies; what is perceived as real does not exist.

In preparation for Ramadan this week, I have been cleansing my body and mind for the past four days. During Ramadan (very simply put) one cannot eat or drink during daylight hours. August 12 I began the cleansing process by eating only whole grain rice and bread as well as drinking water. I was then lead to eat soup and salad, now i'm controlling my food intake altogether. That was the hardest experience i've encountered in the spiritual realm. It left me dazed and weak, unclear and empty. Everyone could feel my pain, but no one understands; not even me. All I know is for me this fast is more than just doing what is in style at the moment, or some way of creating physical chaos in a world of spiritual confusion. For me this fast is about a recovery from the hurt and pain endured throughout many lifetimes. It is about connecting to a higher source within to unlock truth.


I realized recently that my physical existence has not been operating in truth. What I see is not only what i'm getting, but also what i'm not getting. I do not like maneuvering in a world full of half truths and disconnections, for in order to receive complete truth we have to be connected. Everything and Everyone, we are all part of a whole which equals to the one: God, Allah, Christ, Buddha whatever you choose to address our greatest father; I call it the ALL-Ah (father of all): Anu.


So in this journey I will attempt to find that which I have lost; my soul, my spirit, my energy, my connection and my self. I hope to be successful this time, I hope to come into a completion from which I can be satisfied this time, I hope I will find ALL of me this time.


Peace, Love and Bliss

Angel-Ah


Sunday, August 2, 2009

The Miss-Education of Autism

This morning I received an email containing an article from a very inspiring George Mason University Economist. In his essay entitled Chronicle of Higher Education, Tyler Cowen, discusses how Autism should be looked upon as an educational benefit. In the realm of cognitive abilities, children with Autism have far surpassed many so called non autistic students. Cowen lists many of the cognitive functioning capabilities that are often favored when applied by those individuals who are not considered developmentally disabled.

“…some key cognitive features of autism are the ability, and desire, to process lots of information across widely different scales, from tiny details to overarching structures; focus and the mental ordering of that information; a relatively high degree of scientific objectivity; and the presence of some highly specialized cognitive strengths.”

If we removed the Autism label, these abilities would appear extraordinary and show signs of future success especially in that of the analytical, scientific realm. Unfortunately all too many times, when a label is assigned to a person, society begins to only look at their inability or lack of functioning. We as human beings begin to immediately attempt to alter or restructure the person into our limited view of a perfect individual.

What we fail to realize is that every being is perfect upon this Earth because that is how we are designed. Our differences in color, speech, though patterns, movements and development is to increase a greater appreciation and understanding of ALL. For only if we focus on the beauty that everyone and everything has to offer than we can truly grow as a collective manifesting greatness.

Peace, Love and Bliss

Angel-Ah

Thursday, July 30, 2009

The Message is Clear

Several days ago, my fiancee sent me a poem to post on my blog, which I entitled "Message from the Source." It discussed how humans lack of humanity has destroyed its greatest gift from the source. My source is Anu the great Sumerian God who existed prior to Jerusalem or Mesopotamia.

For over a year, after the discovering of this all powerful God, I have been writing and receiving; lessons, stories and prophecies. I have been informed of earthquakes and hurricanes prior to their arrival. Although some people may consider myself a prophet, I do not boast nor acknowledge being such as I am just a receiver but I digress.

Getting back to the point at hand, upon looking through my writings in my current dated journal, I looked upon the date July 28 which was actually a writing from February 22. To clear up any misunderstandings, when I write and receive I do not worry about what is preprinted in the journal I just use the pages. Currently in my dated journal I have written all the way to November 27.

Anyway to my amazement I had written a similar warning to humanity that my fiancee wrote. Here is what I received for the dates July 28 & 29. I encourage all to return to Devin's poem "Message From The Source" and note the similarities.

Tis I Anu, Coming through the portal gates of Heaven and saw it through. I walked amongst men now you see the Earth sins could not carry me so much joy, so much pain , so much mirth from Earth’s disdain. Can’t refutile the soil for Abu. Only she knows the way to carry thru, you see, a great entity asset to me, learn the wise how it should be. Peaceful play, future stay, go away past of disdain. Distates, distrust, all of above, blest no more future has come to surface the present. A glimpse of the storm about to come and write the wrong. Micha-el my soldier war, rounding up the angels to open the floor, descending to Earth and fight once again to reclaim the land for the everlasting man.

Earthquake 3 that will be shaking the heaven’s on ground breaking rie. All the corners of the world flatten in the lances vaults of mer (latin for sea). So you see child the end is near bringing about the peace of heavens friend. As I bring forth un volcanic explosion of good to see the light missed by the ones who brewed, tainted it, discolored it for their own good not the greater ones. Next time I wake, write your fate for now you have missed heavens gate. You are weakened by the chaos consuming the world, cried tears from Heaven shedding upon the floor, sorrow consumes the Land of Anu Garden of Eden closed, dismantled and roux.

No longer the flowers grow
No longer do plants flow
No longer does rivers go
No longer does land mow
Rebuild a new city, a new nation, Anu Land gracious one you have the hand prepare your gifts, sharpen you tools.

This is another message from friend Anu.

Peace, Love and Bliss
Angel-AH

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Angel-Ah's Perfect Smoothie

In my quest to always produce the perfect recipe thru the process of trial and error, I stumbled upon a smoothie recipe worth keeping. I got a delicious treat mmmmm...

5 large Strawberries

1/2 can of Peaches in pear juice

1 cup of milk

1 cup of ice

coconut cheesecake filling


Place ingredients in blender, set to ice crush and mix until smooth. Switch blender setting to whip or mix for a smoother taste. Takes less than 5 minutes, makes 3-4 cups.

Global Thinkers

Why are Global Thinkers often rejected or dismissed? Is it due to their innovative ideologies and thought processes which envelop the totality of natural law? Is it their innate ability to operate outside the realm of existential time?

I'm not speaking on those so called worldly thinkers who to desire to configurate everyone to their disparate human system. Nor am I speaking for those leaders who go to other countries and inform the people how to live even though their civilization existed and thrived long before the leaders country. I'm definitely not speaking aboout those world corporations who steal, utilize and deplete others resources for profit. For all those operators are nothing short of locusts which consume and devour and never allow for replenishment.


I'm speaking for the true Global Thinkers who strive to understand, appreciate, accept, assimilate and integrate all cultures, all countries, all people in love. These Global Thinkers exude the power of universal thought in saying "I belong to the human world and that's the only place I choose to live."


For a sample of those thinkers check out the new travel site globaddicts.com

I'm Growing Up


This morning I awoke at 4:30 to receive a little time to myself. I am a stay at home, single mom who cannot afford activities or childcare for respite. My daughter, Alexandria, woke up in her usual fashion to interrupt my thought processes as does any energetic child. Normally I would have been quite upset leading to a bad day, but instead I switched my mind from anger to simply "oh well."


Of course that doesn't mean i'm not going to continue searching for alternative solutions to quiet her nosey mind, because I know the only reason she gets up is from fear of missing something.


Peace, Love and Bliss

Angel-Ah

Monday, July 27, 2009

Message from the Source

What have you
Become
My children?

I have given
the fruits of
endless trees
the whisper of
falls breeze

Eternity
of patience
I exhume
And
You follow with
My sheperds
Falling
On soaken soil.

My herders
standing
atop
split earth.

Where
remains the branch
sprouting high
above olive tree?

The pounding of
shores
can surely
shift dirties
sand to
the hilltop.

My children
await
in the valley
the barren earth
flooding
with yesterdays
pours.

D. Chambers

God or Christ?


Are you a follower of God or Christ? Some may think one in the same, but I tend to differ from that opinion. How can one say Christ is the son of God and then say he is god without the acknowledgment and acceptance of the god within and out? Furthermore are we all not sons and daughters of God, from which the seed was planted. Mary was the first recorded virgin who gave birth as determined by God. Christianity teaches Jesus Christ as being sent from God to be the messenger, redeemer, savior and deliverer, a messiah if you will.

Throughout the ages many other messengers or “messiahs” were sent from the source to deliver an oppressed people; Moses, David, Buddah, Muhammad, Ghandi, Martin Luther King, Michael Jackson. These phenomenal beings also tapped into their god within and out in order to transform and transmogrify a race of people for the betterment of the world.
Archaeologists and Scholars have traced Christ’s education and application back to ancient texts such as the Book of Enoch, Keys of Solomon, Philosopher’s Stone and the Book of Thoth. Yet Christians reject these sacred and coveted texts as Pagan and false. How can one dispute scrolls that have been authenticated thousands of years before Christ? We understand and accept there were great people who practiced spirituality before the birth of Jesus otherwise there would not have been an old testament. In fact the Book of Genesis references Enoch as being taken up by God and then returned, yet his recollection of events are dismissed from the King James Version of the bible. Are the recordings Enoch any different than the experience of St. John the divine who wrote Revelations? Is it too farfetched to believe that Christ learned from the masters their philosophies and methods?

We cannot just accept half the truth without searching for the remaining half. We cannot reject God but accept Christ, for if my memory serves correctly it was God who created the world including the son. It was God who wrote the Emerald Tablets containing the laws of humanity and it was God who gave up his son to save the world. John 3:16 “ For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish but have everlasting life.”

It is God who sent many for the greater good and it is God who will send another messenger, redeemer, savior and deliverer: messiah to save us all again, according to HIS will.

Peace, Love and Bliss
Angel-Ah

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Palenstine Rooted in Opposite not Opposition

In reaching my one month mark here in the Fallastine (Palestine), I would like to go into more depth on my theory in the 1 week update that Palestinian society is rooted in opposites. For all you Communistas out there, this is the dialectical approach that one entity exists because of its opposite. The opposites do not inherently clash, but rather have a symbiotic relationship, influencing and feeding off one another.

Nowhere was this theory more apparent than in a meeting I attended on Tuesday with the mayor of our village, council members, the farmers we have been working with and a bigwig Minister from the Palestinian Authority (PA). In usual Palestinian fashion, we were told two minutes before we had to leave to attend the meeting, and it was described as just a meeting with the farmers. You can imagine the shock when I walked into the Municipality building and there were around 30 people sitting in the conference room.

In this meeting, the balance between the old school and the new school was revealed, as the elders from the community walked into the meeting and everyone stands up and greets them. The elders, in traditional (old) male Palestinian wear and almost all farmers, sat side by side with the politicians in neatly tailored black suits. Just above the mayors seat, hung a picture of Yasser Arafat in traditional Kuffiyeh, looking more like a resistance movement leader than a politician. Next to him, a picture of Mohammed Abbas, current Palestinian President, whose appearance is stereotypically politician: that dishonest smirk on his face, the bright baby blue tie accenting the clean black suit, an overbearing posture that attempts to display strength but in fact appears weak.

Suddenly the entire room stands up and leaves the building, leaving myself and other internationals sitting their wondering what was going on. Ten minutes later the Palestinian Authority Minister of Agriculture arrives; he began the meeting by pandering to the crowd, saying that Beit Ommar Village was the one of the greatest in Palestine, and had resistance to the occupation that was unlike anywhere else. Pretty slick this one...Of course, at the end of the meeting, nothing had been accomplished or resolved. The Minister was then taken on a tour of the destroyed land, and after five minutes promised to give 500,000 U.S. dollars for the replanting of fruit trees in the area. This was a definite victory for us and the farmers, as it takes years for fruit trees to mature, some as long as 5 years. The settlers will probably set fire to the land again, and cut newly planted trees (as they have done time and time again) but there really is no other option, for if nothing is done the state of Israel will seize the land and give it to the settlement.

Nearly every news story in the U.S. brings up this topic when covering the region and the so called conflict, yet no one really understands the scope and magnitude of the issue (at least I did not until I came here). When looking at a map, the small settlements might not seem to bad, just a dot next to some Palestinian towns. But when driving around the main roads in the West Bank, one can see just how much land the settlements and their infrastructure consume. For example, in the 20-30 minute drive from my village of Bethlehem, there is roughly 6 settlements, including one settlement block that has 9 settlements within it. Mousa, the Palestinian whose home I reside, had family land that was bulldozed and snatched up 3 years ago, and is now part of a settlement (Mousa ended up underneath the bulldozer trying to stop them from taking the land). Despite common perception, the settlements are not slowing down growth, but expanding at an alarming rate, with the collusion of the army who allows attacks on land to happen and prevents Palestinians from accessing their land. All this is under the umbrella goal of Judaizing all of the area (e.g. just this week Israel decided they are going to remove Arabic from every road sign for Jerusalem). Interestingly, many of the people who live in the settlements are American, who are more often than not the most violent, as they have the most stake in the existence and survival of the settlement.

On a lighter note, I want to conclude with a short story of the summer camp party for children of a Bethlehem Refugee Camp that I attended this week. The event was highly politicized, with reenactments of the Israeli military (children holding fake M-16s) harassing Palestinian people and the Palestinians defeating the military in the end (this is opposites again...who would put politics and a children's party together?). But what will stick with me for quite some time was a young girl, a little younger than Alex, singing about her country, the beauty of it, with such a longing and sense of loss that made me eyes tear up. This little girl could be my own daughter, and I cannot imagine the heartbreak and anger I could feel if she was singing this song. This girl, this refugee camp, this country simply desires to be free; free from the struggles of a chaotic existence controlled by a third party, free from the fear of what tomorrow will bring.
My heart with be filled with that piercing song until the day she will be free...


Ma Salema,


Devin

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

No Love for President Obama

Since the induction of the African American “golden boy,” the United States has been bounded by faith that a change is going to come. What we have yet to feel is the effects of these so called changes. The economy is still the worst since the Great Depression, joblessness (especially for African Americans) is at an all time high, healthcare is in turmoil and businesses are failing before they have a chance to open.

In the new era of Bush-Reaganomics many fail to pay attention to Public Education. In September 2008 it was reported by the Chicago Tribune the dropout estimate in Illinois was nearly 230,000; nationally the statistics estimates over one million students per year. (Alliance for Education). Various reasons are displaced upon the children and their families for the inability to complete a high school diploma. Governments throw more funding at the “poor, overworked, underpaid teachers who face so many challenges for the unruly sociopaths presented to the public education system.” Yes I am being condescending for I used to be a teacher who did not feel overworked or underpaid or extremely challenged. Why these cry-baby teachers, along with the help of media outlets display their problems amongst society leading them to side against lies and disguises, no one bothers to open their eyes and see the malicious, calculated, callousness teachers and administrators provide.

My daughter at the age of 8 summoned my protection thru horrified hysterics due to the maltreatment she was receiving by Barkstall Elementary School officials and staff members. Of course when questioned they all banded together against my daughter in an effort to continue the disenfranchisement of a young African American disabled student. They tormented her on a daily basis documenting both her and their wrongdoings in order to ensure failure by design. After two years of appealing to everyone from local and state officials to the Federal Bureau of Investigation, as a last resort we contacted President Barack Obama. The following is a clip from my now 10 year old daughter’s personal letter.

The schools have been hurting me in the middle of second grade and have been continuing. They have been hurting and restraining me since they knew about how smart I am on my work and decided in a mischievous way to try and hurt all the autism and smart kids around the world… I need help from you Barack Obama to do something to the teachers and save me and the other autism kids. That was when I have been complaining about not going to school because I was frighten about all the particular restraints and spankings they do to me…

Alexandria also wrote President Obama a personal letter when he was a Senator for Illinois in August 2008 stating that one restraint was so bad she thought the administrators were going to strangle her. Obama has not answered her to this date; instead we received a form letter from an aid that did not mention the issue or Alexandria’s letter. Throughout my life, I thought that if you tried to be a good person others would be good to you. While I was educating and nurturing other people children, mine was being exploited and abused physically, psychologically and educationally.

Every day as I watch Obama’s children being shuffled around the world, experiencing new and exciting adventures I feel nothing but anger. Knowing that his oldest was born during the same year as my daughter, makes me break out in hives and hyperventilate. I along with many other Americans am not asking for anything less than what he would want for his own children. Well Mr. Obama it must be nice to send your children to a $60,000 per year school when I had to give up my job to teach my own while making less than ten grand per year. It must be nice to have a Harry Potter birthday party for Sasha, although my daughter did not get to have her 8th birthday party because the school demonized and alienated her to classmates. So no I don’t care about your veiled politics which continues to rob the poor to give to the rich. No I don’t care about you taking a vacation, with your children, around the world at the taxpayers’ expense. No I don’t care about your time for a change speech which I have discovered is bull. Finally No I don’t have love for a President who goes against his word, who does not take time to help a little girl in desperation and who thinks it is more important to front than take care of business.

Mr. Barack Obama: Thanks for the pain inflicted by your lies upon my family. I guess you are true to your word because you did change our view of you.

Peace, Love and Bliss

Angel-Ah

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Building A Better School: With Mud



In Palenstine, the Bedouin people have taken an innovative approach to "going green." Using recycled and Earth materials such as tires and mud, they are constructing a school closer to home to ensure safety and functionality. Not having funding to create elaborate buildings with advanced technological or electrical attributes, allows the Palenstinian's to design a beautiful, natural, aestethically pleasing environment. By enlisting the help of local children and adults as well as international volunteers, the success and sense of accomplishment is immeasureable.

In this country we complain how the schools are ill-equipped; building structures not having air conditioning, classrooms without books, and teachers who are bullies yet the Palenstinians just want an environment for their children to learn that's closer to home. Unfortunately Israeli military often threaten to carry out the act of destroying the school due to permit issues. Volunteers sometimes stand watch at night in order to protect work completed and continue the cycle to an environmentally friendly school.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

The Simplest Things

As I began my morning walk listening to the laws of attraction, I felt a sense of restoration as I discovered that a major problem with me is the taking for granted of life. It wasn’t until after I lost my freedom to enjoy the simplest things did I truly appreciate them. My daughter has spent the last two nights with her grandparents, something they have not done in the ten years of her physical existence. Yesterday I awoke from a restless night completely devoid of what to do without my daughter interrupting my personal space. In the spirit of familiarity I allowed for my friends and family to interrupt my thought processes so I would not accomplish the long list of tasks I laid out in my life plan. It took a walk in the Crystal Lake Labyrinth for me to come to the realization that I should have taken time out and enjoyed my freedom in all realms. At first I thought I wasted the day away having felt no sense of accomplishment through my need for familiarity. My mature thought taught me that I actually had uninterrupted conversations and the opportunity to just get up and go without explaining where I was going, at what time and how long. I rarely get those opportunities as my daughter has spent the last two years in my presence 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Those stay at home moms and single parents who cannot afford childcare during the summer understand what I am speaking upon.

This morning I spoke with my fiancée and discussed his signing up with twitter to tell of his advocacy tales in Palestine so that people will be prepared for his book coming out this winter. At the perfect time he had to leave so that I may begin my journey of appreciation. I changed from my jeans into more pliable pants, placed on my shoes for a trek into the wonderment of simplicity. Then I remembered my stomach was empty of nutrients to keep me sustained. I drank a quick glass of V8 Fusion and headed on my way to peace. I arrived at the park rearing to power walk four times which is the equivalent of approximately two miles. I turned on my mp3 player and started walking while listening to the laws of attraction. The first time around I was in the zone of listening intently to what the laws had to say about attracting negative images into your life after you’ve elevated yourself to a different thought process. The second time around the laws discussed creating that which you want; at the same time I was wishing I could run around the park. Out of nowhere came three joggers passing me up, I found myself jealous of the men for achieving what I wanted. Then I proclaimed to myself “Angela you’re being silly, for one day you to will be able.” How did I know if the joggers started off running, maybe they began just walking as I am currently or maybe they have been jogging for years. For whatever the reason, people start and stop events it should be of no concern unless I want to continue feeling inadequate.

As I continued my third and final lapse I noticed the creation of life; the young lady tanning in a beach chair, the couple who walked passed me and smiled, the church bells ringing on the hour, the artist sketching the trees and flowers, the children joyfully swinging, and the old man taking a nap on the bench. Each creating a different element working together in the harmony of this universal life, creating a picturesque view of simplicity. As the bells chime in approval, I rest assured that peaceful balance is what it’s all about, the true magnificence of love. So the next time I am given the opportunity to have a free day or weekend, I will be sure to enjoy the simplest things.

Peace, Love and Bliss

Angel-Ah

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Taking Aim: Societal Destructive Patterns

In a recent documentary presented on CNN entitled Taking Aim: Youth Violence, children are being discussed as always without input on their behaviors and the underlining reasons from which they act upon. As I inhale the derogatory remarks pointed at black children and especially single black mothers, I cannot help but to exhale the fires of stones from my mouth in the form of words. First let me just communicate to the fact that our children black or otherwise are nothing short of products designed by a country which was founded on the backs of racism, enslavement, thievery, pilfering, falsity, degradation, and dehumanization. We have yet to realize at some point, that which we have so passionately sowed will reap the perfect harvest good or bad. Is it so far-fetched to believe that at some point in time our seeds will resort to the same methods of madness from which they were bred? I think not.

It has been my understanding, having been a teacher in the public education system as well as a single black parent of a child with a disability that concessions are made for those considered worthy while apathy are being displaced upon those who are not. These populations of human beings are segregated, separated, isolated, humiliated, bullied and maltreated not by their peers but more so by the ones from whom they are supposed to be educated: teachers. Parents especially single, black mothers are constantly being berated by factions who created the displacement of a family long before they existed. Was it the single, black mother who beat her husband to a pulp until he became complacent and then chained him like a common animal? Was it the single, black mother who said she could not receive government funds if she had her husband or adult son in the home? Was it the single black mother who harassed her husband into criminal activities in order to bind him in jail cells? Was it the single, black mother who told her children that if she disciplined them then they can call Child Protective Services to be “rescued?” The answer was, is, and will be a resounding HELL TO THE NAW! As we are always portrayed to say with much attitude.



Now I am not going to point any fingers or call anyone out for the answer to the above questions, because those who integrated this maniacal plan to destroy a culture, civilization, a being, know exactly who they are. As this is not a paranoid conspiracy or a class x file, not even a cover up as the deceivers are more blatant than ever. On second thought let me just “hypothetically” unveil some of these perpetrators for those who walk around with blinders on until it hits their home. It is the local school district (Unit 4) who makes a child walk down a dark corridor in an empty school with furniture piled up on both sides of the hallway pretending to provide her an education. It is the second grade teacher who dejects a black student from the Scholastic Book Fair to hinder the enjoyment of reading development. It is the neurological pediatrician who prescribes a child anti-depressants after learning the child is no longer aggressive in order to induce aggression. It is the mental health professional who coerces the parent into signing a release of information so that the school may collect evidence against the student. It is the principal who poses as a doctor turned school psychologist to ensure admission into a child psych ward in order to mandate a negative stigma in front of the disability so that they do not have to provide paraprofessional services. It is the state government that gives the funding to this system in order for them to cover up deceptive practices and not hold anyone accountable. It is the federal government that tell parents "nobody wants to prosecute teachers." It is society who turns a blind eye, and a deaf ear and play mute to the true victims who endure this recreation of Communism veiled in a socialist, capitalist ideology. But then again I’m not really speaking on anyone in particular.

So I ask in the midst of chaos, confusion, mishandling, unaccountablility and questions unanswered is it really a wonder why our children are out of order and out of control? Maybe they are seeking the truth from which no one wants to respond truth fully. For those who think I’m applying a simple answer to what appears to be a complex problem, maybe we should learn that simplicity sometimes is the right key. Oh and for those who don’t think I know or understand what is going on in the world, I have been thrust in the throes of a war unimaginable: The war against humanity: without a weapon, ill equipped and ill interested in being devoured. A fight I did not opt in for but am willing to win for the sake of ALL our children.
Peace, Love and Bliss
Angel-Ah

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Passage to A New Time

Last night I had a dream that my daughter and I were getting ready to stay with this couple in their apartment. A rattlesnake came out from underneath these papers and coiled up. With its shaking tail and large fangs, it followed my daughter which she attempted to escape. Ironically the snake never tried to bite Alexandria, I on the other hand stood frozen because I was taught to remain still at the sight of a snake. When fear of my daughter getting bit overtook me, a renewed strength came about to get rid of the snake. Now most would think I would attempt to kill the snake, alternatively my response was to lure the snake away and out of our realm. I began clapping not in an applause form, but a rhythmic jungle sound which the snake responded positively. I was able to lure the snake from the residence, but when I did it was no longer able to seen.

Lately I have been receiving an upsurge in dreams trying to figure whether they are prophetic, symptomatic or just plain crazy dreams. As I searched the dream interpretation dictionary from dreammoods.com, I discovered a rattlesnake signifies a passage of time. I’ve been saying for the last few days that July 7, 2009 is actually the New Year if we traipse back to ancient calendars. The ancients utilized the moon to determine months, I am redirected to the days of King Arthur when Merlin would say 9 moons ago to mean nine months ago.

Many would think that the ancient civilizations would go off the new moon cycle since that is what modern metaphysicists interpret as signifying new beginnings, renewal and rebirth. It is my belief that the ancient people would draw from a full moon because you can see it. That is why many ancients were so haunted by a lunar eclipse. The Chinese thought of the moon during this period of time as being eaten with blood spreading across its face, hence the red coloring of the moon during an eclipse. Ancient Babylonians revered it as an omen for it signified natural disaster or wrath approaching soon.

As I ponder yesterday’s event, Michael Jackson's memorial which is said to be more televised and watched than Barack Obama’s inaguaration, I wonder if the family had some deep insight into the power of yesterday. To most it was just the day chosen to bury a king, to me I am thinking about the turning of a tide, the passage of an era from which we became accomstomed and familiar. Are we prepared for what’s to come next? I furthered my period of gratitude and remembrance to this legend by watching his videography all night. I truly understood the genius of this great man who was crowned King, reminding me of prophets of old. In a song entitled “Another Part of Me,” I realized that Michael revealed the planets aligning along with what is told by the Anunnaki of Ancient Sumeria. I stood in amazement of a song written over twenty years ago and remembering that is also around the time Michael began receiving backlash by the media as being a freak. Could there be people out there in the world that are trying to hinder this knowledge in an attempt to not allow us time to save ourselves from our own demise?

Also on this enlightened day, the Blueray/DVD release of Nicoas Cage’s movie “Knowing” a sci-fi film of a little girl who predicted fifty years worth of major disasters including the end of the world. We laugh off that which we cannot understand, shrugging off the signs as just someone’s vivid imagination but what if the stories, these events are based off some truth? I think of other movies as well which spoke upon phenomenons, “The Matrix”, “Independence Day”, “The Happening”, “Angels and Demons,” are they all revealing some truth through the biggest outlet that consume Americans today: visual theatrics.

I would not be contributing or assisting but selfish if I did not share my prophecies received February 20, 2009, marked during the days July 12-14 of my Days to Remember journal.

In my mind’s eye I see, two earthquakes that will be preparing the Earth for destiny, volcano erupting in 3’s. What will it be? Where you see? Wake up old volcano underneath the drudgery. You will see how it could be when the moon hits high in destiny, destonia destus this deathly space arise out of the Heavens glorious space, settling in the winds of storms aflin tornadoes, volcanoes shape shift the mer release vear soon, planets aligs at high noon: Mars, Venus, Mercury, Jupiter too planets of 4 to open the door. For it is said to put the world to bed, awake in Heaven’s largest dread att ena for all to short circuit you see for everlast to come, the Heavenly.

This is another message of God Anu.

Peace, Love and Bliss

Angel-Ah

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Goodnight MJ: Rest in Peace


Today Michael Joseph Jackson was laid to rest before millions possibly even billions of people worldwide. Most don’t truly understand the magnificence of this iconic figure that left us all with a legacy of compassion, joy, humor, beauty and love. It wasn’t until his memorial service that I realized that this man, this great man will be forever etched into the heart, the lives, and the surface of this world throughout many dawns of time. As we are well aware of Michael’s musical achievements, disguises, and tremendous debt; we often forget about his philanthropic and humanitarian attributes. The Guinness Book of World Records inducted Jackson as King for “Most Charities Supported by a Pop Star.” Ironically it is estimated that he gave approximately the same amount he was claimed to be indebted. Makes me laugh to think that in this country it doesn’t matter what you gave just what your worth financially. Michael Jackson’s soul was that of great pharaoh Ramses II, his heart that of Jesus Christ, his spirit that of an active child, and his essence that of the celestial waters Tiamat; for he never stopped dreaming, creating, giving, and loving.

Whenever a celebrity passes away, we are thrown into a space of shock as the mindset rejects the fact that a celebrity can be anything other than human. They are our idols, our hopes, our dreams our living gods. We believe they are invincible, indestructible and immortal; we desire to never let them go. Unfortunately we take these masters, these teachers, these beacons of light for granted as we taunt, haunt, scrutinize and ridicule every decision or action made. It is only when we realize they are gone never to returned do we appreciate their artistry, their contribution to this realm we called Earth. As the sun opens up in an approval, ever so slightly, ever so quick; I am comforted in knowing that soon we will be together once again with all those extraordinary beings so many throughout the eon of time to list.

Michael Jackson brought the best out of Black Americans, United States citizens, and the entire World. He demanded and achieved perfection with truth, honor, dignity, respect and most importantly through example. He gave us all that he was and in return we gave all to him. As I shed tears for a man I never actually met, I conceive that Michael is a reflection of all of us. The man in the mirror is you and I; he is our fears, our desires, our agonies and our pains. His struggles is our struggles, his victories our victories, his defeats our defeats, and his successes our successes.

So Goodnight to an Icon, a Legend, the King of Pop, a Humanitarian, a god; until we meet again, Thanks for the Love.

Peace, Love and Bliss

Angel-Ah


Sunday, July 5, 2009

I Hope You Dance

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder You get your fill to eat But always keep that hunger May you never take one single breath for granted God forbid love ever leave you empty handed I hope you still feel small When you stand by the ocean Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance I hope you dance I hope you dance I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance Never settle for the path of least resistance Living might mean taking chances But they're worth taking Lovin' might be a mistake But it's worth making Don't let some hell bent heart Leave you bitter When you come close to selling out Reconsider Give the heavens above More than just a passing glance And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance I hope you dance... -- LeeAnn Womack

Many of us, including myself, sit still and watch as life passes us by. Sometimes the world appears to continue spinning along with everyone in it while I’m stuck stationary. Time gets lost although it continues ticking, man keeps moving while I’m being still. I realized I’m existing and not living. To live one must love ALL; the good, the bad, the brilliant, the dull, the pretty and the ugly. Every slug, tree, sea, animal, and homo sapien contributes to the scheme of this interwoven design. Grand in its stature, it will always be a wonder for those who love to seek truth.

Day four of my journey to find purpose shaken me with the questions of what should I stop doing and what should I start doing. These questions are tough for me as I can think of many things to stop doing, that’s why I chose to do a cleansing. When I pondered what to start doing I draw a complete blank. Then I realized that the answer is simple: Live. I can either choose to sit and just exist like a piece of furniture or dance and live like the orbiting planets.

So I’m choosing to dance in love and I hope you dance.

Peace, Love and Bliss

Angel-Ah

Nature's First Gold is Green

As I was studying yesterday the Roman and American paths to Illuminati, I am relieved by a call from my spiritual sister discussing the Illuminati ties with many government and world leaders from Former President Jimmy Carter to Queen Elizabeth. They conspiracy theorists notice a certain hand gesture that reminds me of the heavy metalists “rock on.”

As the continuation of historical mysteries attach themselves to Illuminati; from Ancient Mesopotamia to modern day Washington D.C., we are bombarded with half truths formulated regarding the God or God’s served. The most veiled conception is that certain Sumerian and Egyptian gods were also considered reptilian from En-Lil to Osiris. The basis for this fallacy is the hieroglyph depiction of their green coloring and worshiping of serpents. Could the modern depictions be coverings for the truth? I am redirected to Robert Frost's poem “Nothing Gold Can Stay.”

Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down today.
Nothing gold can stay.
-- Robert Frost

We all know that gold mixed with other metals, especially copper has the effects of turning green. Is it possible that the Ancient civilizations used fake gold or copper within their paints to depict the gods? With time and erosion it is definitely safe to deduce that the gold would in fact turn green and we as discoverers would only see the after effects of nature. As much as we attempt to recreate the past, no one truly knows exactly what was done or the methods. With the ancient civilizations, even today there are unexplainable structures and language. Their cultures surpass ours in the most complex, yet they lived magnificently simple acknowledging and worshiping the HE that is creator, director, producer and protector of ALL.

Lest not take for granted what green symbolize in the purest form. Green is nature, the vegetation of life. It is what was placed upon the fertile land to bear fruits of evermore; growth, wealth, health, abundance, prosperity and evolution. Green is all around, from the lowest of grass to the highest of tree signifying the remembrance of our God, the ALL- AH, Anu that I AM. For green is gold and gold is green, that is the only hue which can forever star.

Peace, Love and Bliss

Angel-Ah

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Independence Day

The Fourth of July is supposed to mean a great deal for every American because it signifies a break from the Kingship of Great Britain. It is the adoption of the formal document in 1776 that declared “independence” for all those British settlers. Unfortunately that independence didn’t include the Indians who were pushed to the borders, women who were not allowed to vote, or the African slaves who were not even thought about being unchained for another 90 years. Yet 233 years later we are supposed to participate in parades and release fireworks in homage of not being counted or treated as whole beings.

In Champaign and many surrounded cities, our Independence Day was thwarted by the natural refreshment of precipitation which splendidly consumed the entire day. The 54th annual Freedom Celebration Parade was canceled for the first time along with its evening festivities of entertainment and fireworks. For most citizens a moment of silence was probably formulated of their lack to celebrate in the usual way of parade, fireworks and barbecue. For those like myself, I say dig deeper and ponder the truth of Fourth of July becoming awash. In the hour of a debt ridden nation alongside a bankrupt State filled with corruption, lies and betrayal; how can one celebrate that which all truly have not obtained.

This society, America, where children are dependent upon drugs, teachers are free from accountability and society is a slave to government takeover how can we celebrate. There is still racism, hatred, enslavement and thievery in the United States. I believe the rains signify a breakdown of the lies and disguise we partake in order to be cleansed by HE that invokes change. It is that I AM, Anu which will come uprooting trees at time in order to get our attention but also who brings the soft winds and rains of promises for all those who turn the ear to hear. It is this quiet whispering that says I AM is here and near for you, HIS child. It is that promise of HE being the God of love not of wrath which calms the soul and brings forth balance once again. For those who hear the quite call are the true ones, the golden ones who can feel with all their heart that today change is here. Now is the time we who are bound and gagged will be released from the chains of evil, emerge victoriously in order to truly be Independent.

Peace, Love and Bliss

Angel-Ah

Uninspired: The Negative Drive


Today I gallop through the path of uninspired energy, that lack of abundant supernatural drive which propels us to greatness. It’s no great suprise to me as I am often caught in the familiarity of stimulating lack. Yesterday, today, and possibly tomorrow as I lie in the appearance of a depressive state, I often ponder what will motivate me. Day three of my purpose cleansing inflicted me with the reality of what has been driving me these past few years: Guilt, Anger and Pain.

In Rick Warren’s book “The Purpose Driven Life,” he defines five methods that drive a human.
1. Guilt
2. Anger and Resentment
3. Fear
4. Materialism
5. Need For Approval

Learning that I am controlled by my past failures led me to the inability to stay motivated. At the center of this negative drive, this force of lack, resides within my daughter Alexandria. Since she was born I felt my inspiration ripped from the wombe as my dream of going to Art School and studying Fashion Design was aborted. I tried to regain my creative spirit through many endeavors such as candle making, skin care products and writing. None of those avenues, although very creative, has given me the joy, satisfaction and bliss that Fashion brings to me. Unfortunately throughout the years my love and ability to bring forth walking beauty to life has evaded my soul.

I resented my daughter for coming along at an inopportune time, subconsciously deciding not to be an effective parent. Now ten years later I’m caught in the web of guilty could’ve, would’ve, should’ve. I could have been a better parent, I would have gotten early intervention for her disability, I should have not allowed my mother or Champaign Schools to shape and mold Alexandria into the being she is today.

My driving force today: The guilt of not being an effective parent allowing for negative forces (including myself) to produce a negative child. The anger and pain of trying to tear down those forces in order to move forward; but how can one move forward in the past when you’re already living the present trying to prepare for the future? How do I remove the guilt of a past gone awry to receive the reward of the future? These are the questions I hope to discover in order shed the uninspired life so that I may work in the Inspiration: God’s Love, that’s the promise.
Peace, Love and Bliss
Angel-Ah

Thursday, July 2, 2009

It's All About HE Not Me

Today I began a new journey towards spiritual enlightenment and fulfillment of God’s purpose for me. As I embark on the trail of discovery to God’s Promise, I will awaken to truth which brings forth peace, joy, love, happiness: bliss. This journey is extremely important to me because it will be the first time I actually take it seriously.

Last year I began a cleansing with the purpose of completing a 35 day period of collecting and correlating vegetarian delights. It was a game to me like hearing the punch line without setting up the joke. This time I desperately want to reach my full potential through the eyes of Anu, the father of ALL, that I AM.

Blessed is the man that trusteth in the Lord, and whose hope the Lord is.

For he shall be as a tree planted by the waters, and that spreadeth out her roots by the river and shall not see when heat cometh, but her leaf shall be green and shall not be careful in the year of drought neither shall cease from yielding fruit.

Jeremiah 17: 7-8


In order to begin finding purpose one must realize that her purpose truly belongs to our Lord, Anu. It is his will instilled within our hearts, souls and spirits that drives us to our destiny. For within his will cometh our will which is the only law “do as thy will in love.” So how do I keep myself from thinking it’s all about me instead of Him? That’s a hard concept to grasp, especially living in a society of selfish beings; where money and power rules over humanity.

Last year out of desperation for answers I began writing to God Anu with the hopes of receiving his greatest wisdom. My search yielded many prophecies which reigned true such as hurricanes and earthquakes as well as guidance to my own life. Today I continue writing often hoping for more answers to the world’s demise yet coming up with what I thought was nothing. Now I remind myself not only of the prophecies true from Anu but also his great promises from which I hold near and dear.

So back to the question at hand, how do I remember Him as the creator of me and everything that surrounds? First I must read and reaffirm my writings with a fullness of understanding that ALL is in divine order. Although I may not like the process or outcome, everything happens for a reason and meant to serve as the drive toward my purpose. Second I must dig deep and ponder the truest meaning of God’s word for my personal development. Finally whenever Anu knocks, touches, or whispers to me to write, think or act I must say: Yes!

Today I say Yes! to Anu, I say Yes! to his prophecy, I say Yes! to his promises,

I say Yes! to my Purpose: The Final Destiny

Peace, Love and Bliss
Angel-Ah

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Palenstinians the Quiet Victims

Tuesday June 30, 2009 marks my one week in Palestine. My short time here has been a microcosm of Palestinian Society; one that is a reality of opposites: of order and chaos, justice and oppression, family and foe, powerful and powerless.

First off, it must be stressed that this is not a society that is constantly "at war" as we are often told abroad. Palestinian people are resisting the occupation and grab of their land through non-violent tactics (handmade rockets and bombs do occur infrequently, but the majority of Palestinians do not support these methods and the occupation, violence, and economic suffocation causes hopelessness). In the more rural areas outside of the big cities in the West Bank, they are farmers, shopkeepers, and day laborers if they can find work (unemployment is staggering here, close to 32% - especially considering over 52% of the population is under the age of 24 and many men are imprisoned). For the family of a long line of farmers that we have been accompanying to ensure Israeli settlers do not attack them while they harvest their own land (a 75 year old man had his skull cracked open a week prior while Israeli military watched and did nothing, despite the fact that their outpost is to prevent and stop these attacks from happening), they are resisting the destruction and grab of their land by persevering in continuing to harvest their crops. This is their livelihood, without it their fate may be the same as countless other Palestinians who have lost their homes through illegal home demolition, their land through illegal land annexing, and ultimately their country,

A little known law outside of the Palestine and Israel, allows the Israeli military and state to confiscate any land in the West Bank that is defined as "uncultivated" for 3 years. The Israeli military has been declaring Palestinian farm land as restricted as a "temporary military zone." Despite an Israeli Supreme Court order against the perpetual use of these orders, the practice still continues, leading to destruction of large acres of farm land by nearby Israeli settlers and eventual confiscation to the state of Israel who will use the land to speed up expansion of illegal settlements in Palestinian land. The weekend prior to my arrival, settlers had used a chainsaw and burned several acres of the farm land belonging to the family mentioned above. They had been barred from the military to harvest their crops for several months, and after trying one morning they were met with violence. This issue described above of illegal land grab is not an isolated incident in the West Bank. It is a systematic process used to expand Israeli settlements, and retard Palestinian economy that is currently in crisis

Last Saturday, a large group of international, Israeli, and Palestinian activists peacefully demonstrated against this action by attempting to pick grape leaves at the farmers' land. Before even being able to reach the land, 26 people were arrested and one Palestinian was severely injured right before he was being interviewed by Al Jazeera News (I was incapacitated that day because of stomach problems). You can watch the video here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8PUpmUMG_pA. The day prior, Friday, activists demonstrated against the separation wall (that we heard so much about on the news in 2003-2004 when it was first being built) in a small rural town where over 75% of the farmland was annexed or destroyed by the construction of the wall. Many activists (including myself) were tear gassed with canisters shot from weapons that were attached to armored military vehicles funded by yours and mine tax dollars. And this was considered a "calm" demonstration (the soldiers/police normally use rubber bullets and beat people along with live ammunition for the Palestinians).

Despite the gloomy prospects on the ground here, I want to emphasize that the Palestinian people are a beautiful people and we as Americans can learn many things from their culture and habits. I am especially grateful for their hospitality and giving nature, it is instilled in even the youngest of children. They would give you their last dollar without even asking, or in the case of the farmers we have been assisting, make large meals every day we have worked in the fields. Ultimately, it is the children I fear for most. No one should have to live in chaos, in fear, in powerlessness. This can have a serious detrimental impact on the psychological development of young people. How must it feel like to see your grandfather get his skull cracked open for simply farming his own land? What does it feel like to have your brothers, cousins, fathers, uncles imprisoned for years without trial or reason? What does it feel like to watch your 12 year old brother get shot by a sniper for throwing stones at an armored vehicle?

For the forgotten, oppressed, and silenced people of Palestine, let us hope and pray for the end to this colonial state, not on Israeli, American or international terms that will only produce freedom on "paper," but on the terms of the Palestinian people and that of justice and humanity. If this does not occur, we will continue to fight and will eventually win for we are on the side of peace, and occupation is antithetical to natural order of living and governing.


Regards,

Devin Chambers

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Distance Loving

Many people wonder if long distance relationships could actually work. Daily the news is filled with lustful individuals going on business trips that served as masquerades for extra marital affairs. I myself have even wondered if my relationship with the man I love can sustain distance. My fiancée has been gone since February 14, 2009, yes that’s right the most romantic day of the year. I cried not because I could not spend the day of love with the one I love, but because he was going to prepare a way for a new life and I was afraid that after a few months it might not include me and my daughter. Truly I was afraid of the vultures that would surround my love and swoop down upon him. My fears were confirmed when two women entered into his life in an attempt to woo him away but instead failed as he honored our love with truth and honesty. Now it has been four months and I am tested in my ability to sustain even more of a long distance love.

Most distance relationships tend to reside in the United States going from a few hundred to a thousand miles. My love is on the other side of the world in Palenstine assisting in the rights of others. My fear for the safety of my love makes my jealousy of another woman appear trite but what can I say I’m human. This journey my love embarks upon to go from boy to man requires not only courage, strength and a level head but also tremendous love and support. When I reflect upon his family’s opposition and doubt, I remember having to suppress my true feelings in favor of my fiancée desires.

Now he’s abroad getting tear gassed in the name of truth and honor to help those reclaim the land that rightfully belongs to them. I could tell him come home at any time to keep him safe and my heart secure but I know right now home is not where he wants to be. So I must love from a distance another three months as my soldier of valor becomes ALL the man he can be. So I will endure this distant love to be ALL the woman I can be.

Peace, Love and Bliss

Angel-Ah

No Child Left Behind: Annihilation or Awakening?

It is no mystery that since the induction of No Child Left Behind (NCLB) inflicted upon America’s Public Education System many questions have been raised regarding the quality and quantity of learning our children receive. Many flaws have been revealed since its enactment January 2002 such as reading programs offering minimal progress, special education inclusion without supports and allocation of funds based upon performance testing standards. Truly with such poor results one would deduce that No Child Left Behind is an annihilation of quality teachers, education, and students or is it?

With every reform movement truth eventually floats to the surface and overflows into the hearts and minds of those who seek. No Child Left Behind was unveiled as its intent to leave a population of students behind became clear. The intent was to not equip children of certain demographics with the tools necessary to function emotionally, socially and economically thus creating a permanent underclass or slaves if you will. The system to destroy the lives of these beings who are just beginning to live was formulated long before No Child Left Behind.

I remember in 1992, my senior year of high school, the local district ridded itself from veteran teachers and support staff. Most teachers were forced into early retirement while others were demoted. This made room for suburban Generation X rookies (the lost generation) to enter into a terrain of misconceptions and politics. They were taught that it was their job to actively seek children who need extra help in classes with the intent to assist in removing them from a classroom environment. These rookies were told to identify children with certain behaviors which contributed to the labeling of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADD/ADHD) and currently Emotional Disturbance/Behavioral Disorder (ED/BD). Furthermore because these teachers were getting paid less; incentives and bonuses were handed to those who chose to sell out children for money making the game more lucrative.

When No Child Left Behind came to pass requirements for Teachers and Teaching Assistants became more stringent resulting in a second wave of removals. For Champaign mostly African Americans are the ones who take the hit, leaving minority children without support or protection. So when it came time to target kids of course those who are remarkably different get targeted first by the remaining Anglo Saxon novices. These children are males, minorities and those with disabilities. For those children who contain all three qualities, a triple threat, they are targeted and ousted from the school environment quicker. It is these special children who defy all man-made laws of chaos, confusion in favor of natural order of peace and clarity. In other words these children want truth over deception.

Had we not received No Child Left Behind, America’s minorities would not know how little their children is worth. We would not have known our children were being sold to the Healthcare Industry, the Prison System, and essentially the Government for a currency that’s not worth the paper it’s printed upon. We would not have seen our children suffer inside the school’s detentions and classrooms being shucked away like a stalk of corn. The upsurge of victims and disability rights group such as the Children’s Defense Fund would not have surfaced. Articles and reports would not have been written on how detrimental No Child Left Behind has been for minority students. Finally America might not have awaken from the system placed specifically for the destruction of our youth.

Peace, Love and Bliss

Angel-Ah

Saturday, June 13, 2009

AIDS: Epidemic or Conspiracy?

An article surfaced on msn.com regarding Reverand Wright’s disgust with not having spoken with Barak Obama since he became the nation’s 44th president. See the article: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/31246353

The former pastor goes on to discuss his normal political condemnation including accusing the government of creating AIDS. Now I usually would say that Reverand Wright, like most pastors, just want his five minutes of fame but in discovery of just how powerful secret sects can be I have to wonder… AIDS is it really an epidemic or great conspiracy.

There has been speculation for years of secret orders utilizing different ways to annihilate whole populations of people; the black plague, holocaust, slavery, heroine. Ways to maintain order, control and above all else even God: MONEY. So is it really hard to believe that AIDS spread so rapidly due to government(s) creation. We have to admit HIV/AIDS did seem to appear out of nowhere and swept through the world like a house afire. To this day no one can exactly pinpoint how this disease appeared, and science still claim they do not have a cure just a means to live with HIV. After years of being canonized and demonized there are people who still claim that the disease is a punishment for God. How many other disasters, epidemics and wars have been formulated by man in the name of God? No question there for history is flooded with many shining examples.

Albeit epidemic, pandemic, conspiracy, Willie Lynch, tomato or tomato aren’t they all truly the same. As I think back to the show “Doomsday Prophecy 2012” on the history channel, I remember the revealing of an internal extraction program known as “webbot. “ I was in awe to find out this program actually combs through every exchange throughout the world wide web coming up with answers. Through this program the developers were informed about pandemics, wars, even 9/11 three months before the occurrence. The only explanation for a web program to receive predictions is if man created these so called prophetic events.

In an age where man wants so bad to try and play God acting as creator, judge and destroyer could AIDS just be that one more thing added. The question can’t help but to continuously flood my head with wonderment as we get closer to the end of our days. Leaving me with a notion is this really man or God.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Dreams Mastered?

For several weeks, I have arisen to the remembrance of dreams that appear to not fit into my current reality or Does it? As I desperately search for the hidden meaning of each piece of dream received, I am left wondering if a puzzle is being formulated to greater understanding. Yesterday I woke from a dream inside a dream; leaving me dazed and confused, and a need to get outside and commune with the nurture of nature. Today I awaken from a dream with a sense of purpose, a drive to prove that I am not a low life, screw up of a slacker. Yet still wondering what does this all mean?

Let me enlighten both you and myself with this experience. Yesterday’s dream consisted of speech from both Nostradamus and God, whom I call Anu. Nostradamus came first explaining to me how the world would end. He told and showed me a massive fire consuming the earth much like in the Nicholas Cage movie “Knowing.” As those who have seen the movie remember how the sun simply got to hot and disintegrated the world. This is not shocking as we have all heard it before, scientists discussing Global Warming and the Greenhouse Effect. What was shocking (but not so very) to me in this dream is that Nostradamus said that man would create the fires that consumed the earth. In my dream I woke up and immediately thought I needed to tell my best friend and spiritual advisor Ordena of my dream. She happened to be laying beside me in the dream but I did not wake her, instead I called her later to talk about the dream.

As I was talking to Azima in the dream, I dreamt I had another dream. As this is all confusing; dreams inside of dreams, I feel that it means something I just do not know what. I don’t remember what the dream was on the inside but that is when God, Anu, spoke. He told me the solution to surviving the earth’s demise was water. Anu said that water extinguishes fire, okay okay I know what you are thinking, no big shock there. His exact words were “become the water”,of course I asked how do I be water upon which I received a response of “your body is made up of 70% water therefore you can become water. Of course I argued with my God as I normally do, that’s our game and we both enjoy many times. His final words were “the only thing left after the earth is consumed is water”, Set, Match, Game Over. The first and the last, the beginning and the end, first was the waters and last is the waters. Epiphanous thought: God is Water.

This morning I woke to a dream that my fiancée and I were walking in the winter time, window shopping around Christmas and he found $100 bill. I was jealous of him, because good things always tend to happen for him. He is a manifester, what he says happens instantly, but I digress. I had thoughts of why can’t I find a hundred dollars, because I definitely need any and all free money. As I was walking in an area that looked like a dump, when on top of the heap I saw an envelope. In the envelope were a couple American Express credit cards with my mom’s name on it and cash. The cash was a little over $150, I removed the cash and left the cards but I thought why would my mom not shred the cards and throw away that much money. The dream then returned to my fiancée driving to some class where he asked me to pick him up. Now in my waking life I would wonder why I had to pick him up when he has the newer car, but asleep one just goes with the flow. No epiphany here, as I am still trying to make sense of it all.

If dreams are really a manifestation of your desires, than simply put, I want to know the future and I want more money than my fiancée. Fortunately I am not that simple, so I am left with the pieces of my fragmented dream life trying to complete the puzzle. Azima told me yesterday that God was telling me the key to my survival is to flow like the water, forget my past hatred or “fire” and just go with the flow. Water is necessary to cleanse, purify, generate and restore.

I’ve had many pieces in the last few weeks and I realized the last time Anu spoke to me is exactly 4 weeks from tomorrow. Could my dreams be Anu’s way of speaking to me since I have turned a deaf ear to him? If so maybe I should open up my waking self and receive from him once again prophecies true, for that is my true desire to receive from him: guidance, wisdom, prosperity and divine favor. Always, Always and Always

Peace, Love and Bliss

Angel-Ah