Friday, July 22, 2011

What's the Big Ego (part 1)

In this time of manifestation, we must all be aware of not only our conscious thoughts we as human beings harbor either individually or collectively, but the unconscious protective though processes that serve as protector in order to maintain a rational safety mechanism disguised as balance.

Carl Jung wrote extensively of this protector as the bedrock of psyche analysis, Abraham Maslow described it as “Self Esteem” that level of need before self-actualization and Sigmund Freud divided “I” into three categories. The unconscious protector for which I am referring is that little voice from which many of our ideologies, behaviors and functioning stem unknowingly: EGO

Originating from Latin meaning “I”, our ego has served as a sheltering force, often taking over in times of danger providing a seemingly balanced explanation for our conscious thoughts, behaviors and actions. Most often this protector creeps up, shutting down all sensibility acting on behalf of self as warrior. It takes over speaking out in the lowest form of intelligence…Fear identified (ID) as whole self.

Freud defines ID as an unconscious element “filled with energy reaching it from the instincts, but has no organization, produces no collective will, but only a striving to bring about the satisfaction of the instinctual needs subject to the observance of the pleasure principle.” This means that our ego runs off instinct from environmental stimulants that trigger traumatic experiences held within seeking only to personally satisfy the victory of removing self from danger. Oftentimes we operate in this space without conscious knowledge until someone points it out or we are placed in such a dangerous situation upon which we cannot respond with the basic fight or flight.

So let’s examine how our ego can work outside our realm of conscious, rational thought and force us to behave in mannerisms undetected by self or otherwise. Take me for example, as I was thoroughly enjoying myself this past weekend at the Indiana Black Expo I consulted with my sister on having been off the market for five years, I needed assistance finding a man (after all it has been a year since my fiancĂ©e left me for another woman). I confided in my sis the qualities I desired: 6’3, Good Provider, Loves the Lord etc. etc. etc. As I was rounding off my long list of qualities, I capped it by saying “and they have to be unavailable.” That’s right you got it correctly, I said unavailable lol, but what was really insane I kept repeating it until my sister asked me do I really want a man who is unavailable?

As I contemplated this statement I realized that my ego had escaped my rationale and spoke its truth. Having been in as many abusive relationships, the ego had built a structure of comfort to keep me sustained in a victim mentality, disguising the energy as victorious power. If I seek after unavailable, it would satisfy two thought processes, victimization and victory. The victim in me wanted to continue believing in abuse as love and myself not completely ever being first in a man’s life. The victorious me would seek unavailable in order to consciously be aware that I was not first and therefore I could protect myself accordingly. My behaviors in a relationship would be to push the man away by never expecting much nor asking for that which I need and deserve, respect, honesty, truth, provisions, stability…Love.

The ego creates a pattern and locks it away in the subconscious until the time to unleash, usually during times of perceived danger due to a trigger from the past. Most often an environmental element triggers our responses; a sound, a touch, a person’s stature, a food, anything that was catalogued at the time of the trauma. Dianetics the film discusses this process extensively as the reactive mind taking over when consciousness or as I call it your sensibility is lost. The unconscious begins building the blocks to warn your psyche the next time a dangerous situation might occur. Unfortunately the ego, reactive mind, unconscious ID does not understand triggers and stimulants surround us every day and it is virtually impossible to not operate in fear until your rational or conscious mind can cancel the thought. This requires one to be conscious of the irrational thought process, in my case “unavailable.” Starting from present moment one must be fully aware of which thought processes are for the greater good and those which are not, embracing the good and rejecting the bad. Yes it is that simple.

It is stated that it takes only 21 days to diminish a bad habit or create a good one but you must fully be aware of every present consciousness. Begin today to seek available and cancel unavailable. Begin today to love and not hate. Begin today to serve and not take. Begin today to show empathy and not apathy. Begin today with the thought of creation not destruction. Begin today by letting God not Ego (I or self) fill your unconsciousness. Create Anu world over.

This is where I say AH…

Peace, Love and Bliss.

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