Monday, September 12, 2011

I Shouldn't...Should I

“You know what Pennington? You really are a punk!”

He stood up to face Tracey, “What!”

“That’s right I said it, a P-U-N-K, punk. Your problem is that you sprung on that fake wanna be black Barbie with her southern charm and cantaloupe breasts.”

“Now, hold the hell up! You can’t go dissin’ my girl.”

“I can’t huh?” Tracey folded her arms, “Well if she yo girl, than why you at my house instead of hers?”

Tyron’s face went blank, that was a good question. How could he be defending Felicia in another woman’s home? He rubbed his chin looking for the right words to explain his position. He walked closer to Tracey making her move back. She fell on the sofa and scooted to the far end. Tyron moved in close to her.

“You know it’s all about you girl.”

She looked at him in disbelief, “Whateva. Don’t try that smooth, playa stuff on me. Save it for someone who hasn’t slept with you.”

Tyron’s smirk turned into a frown “Here we go again, now why you gotta go drudge up the past. Besides wasn’t it fun while it lasted?”

Tracey rolled her eyes, “Don’t flatter yourself, it wasn’t all that.”

“Yea right. You wouldn’t be so bitter if all this hadn’t affected you.”

He rubbed his chest down to his private parts. Tracey swallowed and nervously laughed to hide Tyron’s insidious actions. He grabbed her arms, pushed her down on the sofa and started tickling her body. She begged him to stop his playful torture before she got to erotically aroused. He placed an arm on each side of her body and leaned in for a kiss.

He succulently kissed Tracey, ravishing her mouth into many pulsations. Her body was warming up, ready to shed all her articles of clothing. She slightly pulled back from the intimate interlude, remembering he did have a girlfriend. Although she did not like Felicia, she could not disrespect another black female. The man shortage was not as prevalent as society portrayed. At one time she would not have given a second thought to being with someone’s man, but that was a different place, time and person.

As Tyron moved from her lips to her neck, Tracey stopped him. His hand was already rising up underneath her shirt in preparation to free her orbs from bondage. She knew she had to speak up before he took her to a place she could not escape.

“What about Felicia?”

He stopped and looked up in her eyes with confusion, “Huh?”

Tracey slid from underneath Tyron’s frame, sat up and pulled her shirt down. “I said what about your woman? You know, Felicia.”

“C’mon Tracey. Don’t you want this?” Tyron moved in close to her for another kiss.

She pushed him off her, “Go home to your girl!”

“What the hell is up with you?”

Tracey rose from the couch infuriated. She walked to the front door shaking her head. All she could think about was how clueless men were. They just always assumed a woman was supposed to fawn and fall at their feet just because they pay her a little attention. She opened the door nonverbally ordering Tyron out her home.

(Excerpt In A Dream by Renée Angelah)

At some point the opportunity arises where one is faced with the challenge of engaging with another man or woman’s significant other. Whether a couple is dating or married, singles have been approached by a person who is in a relationship and offered the notion of joining the group. Now I am not discussing polygamy cults where there is one man to 29 wives for it is my belief those men are simply predators. I am speaking from the everyday run of the mill cat who knows they are in a relationship yet seek out another woman or man for a momentary self-gratification.

As of late, I have been engaged in conversations with women who are knowingly in affairs. When asked “WHY?” I am given responses such as “I love him,” “he pays my bills,” “they all cheat,” “there are no good available single men,” or simply “I am lonely.” These women have pushed aside all guilt and self-loathing of involvement with another woman’s man for the comfort of having a taste, just a sliver of a man.

While I pondered the many times I have been approached by unavailable men, I often wonder what mechanism within me has halted me from going to the next level. I have been offered airline tickets, romantic interludes, paid cars and of course absolutely nothing but, that piece of man. Yet once I become aware that the man is attached, and trust me ladies when I say this, the man has no problem telling you he is involved, for me pursuance is over.

With the media perpetuating non monogamous behaviors coupled with the ease of social networking, cheating is more readily accepted than ever before. The dating pool once utilized in our own backyards has now become an ocean where all fish can swim together. So I must ask, In a society where the perception is women outnumber men and the truly good ones are already taken, it behooves me to wonder can a woman engage in an affair and still be respected by others as well as self?

An affair is a touchy subject to converse upon due to the parties involved. It has been my perception that the ones engaged in such acts create this world where they do not have to be faced with the reality of cheating. I know of one woman who is in an extra marital affair that does not ever want her “boyfriend” to discuss his wife. When faced with the question of why, her response is “she doesn’t want to think about him being with another woman.” Yet it is not just another woman, she is his wife and this woman knowingly entered into a relationship with a married man and no amount of ignoring negates the reality and truth. This woman (who happens to be a dear friend) often asks “When will I get my turn?” Sometimes I want to scream “you’re in an affair, it’ll never be your turn.” Although that is the truth I don’t say what I’m thinking, because that will hurt her feelings.

Over the weekend I watched several plays where this very subject of affairs was introduced. In the first play I saw a woman who only pursued married men because she just wanted someone who would pay her bills. In the second play a professional woman pursued a married man because he was hurting over his wife cheating on him. Both women had the perception that if the men were getting what they needed at home then they would not have cheated. The professional woman went so far as to say that her “boyfriend’s” wife gave him to her.

Ironically I find these women often rationalize their actions as if they have found the key and unlocked the code to surviving relationships. They exude a self-confidence that makes them feel superior over others as if they have mastered the art of relationships or… do they? In one of the above mentioned plays, a client explained to the girl who wanted a married man to “just pay a bill” that only a woman who has the lowest self-esteem will actively pursue another woman’s man. I believe the same applies for men as well, for those who chase unavailable are not truly searching for love and commitment.

Furthermore if a man or woman pursues someone who is seemingly attached, is it not safe to say that if a person will cheat with a cheater than they will also cheat on the cheater. Taking this a step forward, eventually when the karma returns to haunt the space and as the cheat becomes exposed, do not the liabilities far outweigh the benefits? Lives are shattered, emotions destroyed and capacities to receive the beauty of true love within is compromised and all for what? A sliver of a man or woman. In essence the cheat turns into the cheater and eventually will get cheated.

Now that’s food for thought so I must say AH!

Peace, Love & Bliss


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